Brandy and Rachel took time during Holy Week to talk about Father’s Day. (You didn’t see that one coming, did you?) Father’s Day in Honduras is celebrated on March 19th. Yes, it’s always on the 19th, which means that this year it fell on a Tuesday. It’s a day that doesn't generally garner the same kind of attention that Mother’s Day does. But today, let’s talk about the importance of fathers.
This year, Brandy and Rachel had a small celebration with the Crosspoint team in honor of Father’s Day. They bought a cake (which Brandy declared to be delicious) and some Cokes. Alas, there was no mariachi band! They explained that, in Honduras, Mother’s Day is often observed with a mariachi band coming to the house to play for mom. The bands are booked up on that day so it’s perfectly fine if the band shows up at 4:00 AM to let mom know that she is loved! (Trish has previously stated she is quite okay with not partaking of this particular holiday tradition.) But, even more so than in the States, Father’s Day doesn’t receive the same fanfare.
Brandy shared that, in Honduras, it is becoming more and more commonplace for the man of the family to move to the big city or even a different country in pursuit of money, especially among the desperately poor. The idea is supposed to be that the men send money home to their families, but what often happens is they end up starting a new family in their new location, while their wife and kids are left to fend for themselves. Even when the father is consistent about sending money back, no amount of financial gain is going to make up for children living with absentee fathers. The ramifications include things like girls getting pregnant when they are very young and drinking among the boys, as well as a tendency to perpetuate the cycle.
Growing up with a father who wasn’t always in the house is something Brandy can relate to. His father was away serving in the military and Brandy and his four siblings were raised by their mother. It was difficult for her, and it meant that the kids were often left to their own devices while she was working at part-time jobs. Brandy’s older brother was sometimes in charge. Rachel still wonders if a mysterious bump on Brandy’s head is something he was born with or if it happened the time he fell off a roof! Brandy remembers a time he was left in charge of a little sister. He remembers taking the powdered milk reserved for the baby and making a bottle for the baby and a glass as a snack for himself. Rachel has been in the family for years now and she said that previously untold stories of what really happened while Brandy and his siblings were home alone still come out when they get together.
Being a single mom is hard pretty much anywhere, but it’s even more difficult in rural Honduras, where the women don’t have decent daycare options, and there is no government assistance. Even for families where the man stuck around, many women find themselves in abusive relationships with no option to leave because she’s afraid to raise the kids by herself.
Brandy said you can see the difference in the homes that have a responsible man in them. Broken things get fixed. Children have more stability and are more able to continue their education. Women are less burdened. As a ministry, S4P is conscious of where the next generation of pastors and church leaders are coming from - children with a good father in the home, or at least a positive male role model, are more likely to grow up to be community leaders.
While it isn’t a replacement for having a father in the home, it’s not difficult to understand why Sowers4Pastors stresses how important it is for local pastors to develop personal relationships with the kids in the sponsorship programs. Kids shouldn’t grow up without a positive male role model. Doing so can affect their relationship with God and their understanding of what a good father looks like, or even what a relationship in a marriage should look like.
Last year Rachel joked that Brandy’s Father’s Day gift was the birth of Levi on March 17th. That’s true enough! It’s also true that Brandy and all good fathers are gifts to their families. Please pray for the fathers of Honduras. Pray for the women and children who are living without a husband and father in the home. And for the fathers who are there, facing the daily pressures of raising kids while trying to be godly role models, let’s strike up some metaphorical mariachi bands to celebrate them!
- posted by Christi
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